toddler teacher

Been a while since blogging, but some things are worth being penned and shared... here's one such experience...

 

the last day of our trek to Roopkund, and at shouting distance is Ran-ka-dhar. I'm among the last people (Shreyas and Sidd being the others) walking in our trek group, along with Manoj who was the rear-guard of our trek. I find a chocolate bar in my pocket, but I'm not interested to eat at that moment. Just then, I see a kid, about a year-and-half old, standing in the courtyard of his house, blissfully playing. I tell Manoj, "Manoj bhai, ye chocolate bacche ko de kar aa jaunga, ruko." He takes it from me, and goes himself, since the kid seems not to understand other languages yet, when I call him. The little one happily takes the chocolate and safely puts it into the tiny pocket of his shorts. Just as Manoj bids a farewell, his mother calls out (translating to) "uncle ko pranam karo.". Without a moment's hesitation or second thoughts, the kid bends down to touch the feet of Manoj seeking his blessings.

It is the pure and unscathed humility of childhood, I figure out, that let the kid be so deft in listening to his mother. He doesn't spare time to thoughts of knowing (or not) whose blessings he was seeking, whether the elder is worthy of the respect, or any of those things that go through our minds when we're asked of an act of reverence. It is this toddler teacher that taught me, reverence to people doesn't involve answers to questions of the sort.

That moment is fresh into my thoughts even after a whole month since we trekked. And here it goes, lest I forget it over time, serving a reminder for later..

For you, dear you...

Please don't tell me not to cry,

Please don't say there was a reason, why.

You don't know what I feel of how much I hurt,

Wet spots of tear drip onto the collars of my shirt.

You may say I should go on with life,  forget and be strong,

But deep down i know, and I don't want to go on alone.

I don't expect you to understand why,

for no apparent reason I break down and cry.

my life has changed for all that you see,

and that is why I'm not like the same old me.

What happened; has changed my life forever,

I cannot be the same, not today, not tomorrow, never.

The best you can do for me is be there as a friend,

for my soul hurts bad, and it may never mend.

--Anon

...and then, she was free...

Few drops of dark shades falling from her eyes, a naive view she was holding in, the deeper the world went, the smaller her heart grew. Dark water kept pouring in her empty hearted glass. It was like an endless waterfall of sadness. Her eyes, wandering in the mist of happiness, looking for a ray of sunshine, but all she got, was a snowflake in the dark summer. Days were pretty in her head, but none in her eyes. Reflections of the world she kept running from, followed her into every moment she lived.

A step here, and one there, on the pathless road with a desperation in her heart for a pure happy world. The millions of emotions she kept hidden inside a room of her pretty little heart, was like a magic box of the purest layer of desire. She packed it with the most beautiful bunch of flowers she plucked from the dark world she had left. As she walked out, she was up in the air, walking on a rainbow, a blooming heart, ready to fly. Silently, her wings grew like the moon among the stars, and then she set herself free. 

Free from the burden of expectations., she emancipated her soul from the shackles of self doubt. Letting go of her fear of inhibition, flying higher and higher into the deep blue sky. Yes, she's now free. Free to be anyone she wants to be... anything she wants to be

-Anon.

I choose...

So said the Other's way, for the chosen one, and why be the chosen one...

I choose to speak to you in silence,
in my silence, i fear no rejection.

I choose to be with you in my loneliness,
it's only there, that none owns you but I.

I choose to love you from the distance,
the distance shields us both from pain.

I choose to imprison you in my thoughts,
there alone, do I own all freedom.

I choose to kiss you on the wind,
the wind is gentler than my lips.

I choose to touch you through the sun,
the light of dawn is softer than my touch.

I choose to soothe you through the moon,
the caress of moonlight is pleasing much.

I choose to hold you in my dreams,
for my dreams are where I have no end,
for only there can I always be with you.

-Anon

between logic and emotions...

Vulcans : as Sarek tells Spock about them, “Emotions run deep within our race, in many ways more deeply than in humans. Logic offers a serenity humans seldom experience, a control of feelings so that they do not control you”. Even Kirk needed Spock when it came to warp the Enterprise out of a crisis caused because of his own emotions.

Where do the two originate from - logic and emotions...? Aren't they both from our own thought-processes?

Then why, I wonder, is it so difficult to be rational for humans! Whether it is about asking why tears roll down when the hero of the movie is dying in his mother's arms, or when it is to convince someone to see the rationale behind certain decisions, humans prove Sarek right, time and again. Feelings have taken control of the mind to an extent where they are merely uncontrolled expressions. Seldom does one manage to check these expressions. It simply doesn't seem to work in humankind that the mind can rule over matter... where the mind is the master, and not the slave. Keep the doors open for this to happen, but still, the choice for humans, is to pick the mind being the slave of 'feelings'., and of the surroundings. And for those who choose to control rather than be controlled, are Branded. They are stereotypes who don't understand, are stubborn and determined to be against others.

However one chooses to control feelings, On Vulcan, would have had it taught from childhood. Here on Earth, it's well nigh impossible. One has to find one's teachers... or find other green-blooded hobgoblins. I'll consider myself fortunate for having found not one, but two of them. They help me find rationale when I fail to. While one's way of conveying is by making me realize the 'flow' of things, the other conveys by apt words when I fail at them. One's practical, while the other's words of lesson. One lends experience, while the other lends ideas. It's them that, when I'm unable to check on my emotions, reason me out and make me see logic.

For this, shall this be a "thank you note" to the two... to Music, and to Poetry.

rain, rain, come again...

A boy of about 4 or 5 years, he'd probably just learned to happily sing

"Rain rain go away, little Johnny wants to play...".

but stood at one window of their house in the quarters, sad and disappointed; punished for doing it despite having forbidden to... twice!

It was an early summer day; those days when his place had seen rain with hailstones; and this was one of them. Just as it started pouring down, and the hailstones clattered onto the streets, he'd wanted to run out of the house. He wanted to relish 'Ice'... luxury then. A cautious mother who'd already warned him against going out if and when it rained was busy washing laundry.

However, a few minutes into his hailstone-hunting, she probably realized something was out of place, and went to look outside. Summoned into the house, his head was dried and all the 'Ice' he still carried were poured down the sink. After some chiding, he was given dry clothes to wear, and Ordered (with a O) not to go back into the streets until the rain stopped.

Did she know that was exactly what he would do? For, he was back on the streets and out in the rain, in no time. This time when she found out, he was dragged in, scolded harshly, made to undress and stand waiting for dry clothes, so that he wouldn't go back to the streets. He would have to remain so, until the rain had stopped... and that was her way of keeping him from falling sick.

And there he was, standing at the window, hopelessly staring at the street as the silvery white stones melted away. Little did he know either, that he had already fallen in love with Rain.

As years rolled by, he had forgotten this story, his little love affair with rain. But he never missed a chance to get drenched when it rained. Whether it was on his way back from school, college, the library or office, or anywhere else, he found opportunities to wet himself tip to toe in rain water.

"But now, he's 'Grown-up', and has so much to take care of... a family, his work, friends, society and what not!". Such thoughts seem to have gotten into this puny little thing of his, called the brain, which sometimes works, leading to what the learned ones call 'worry'. His worries and bothering of no apparent origin are taking a toll on everything he's supposed to take care of.

Along came another day, when it rained; just before the onset of another summer. He's just got the chance to savor another shower of rain on his way back home. Again ordered to dry himself (as always, by his mother...), a cup of tea is offered. He picks it up, and walks to the gate wanting to be out there, but is stopped by her once again. 

The craving to go and stand under the bursting clouds is pushing him. Quickly finishing his cup of tea, he runs up to that attic of his house. Just about to enter, he stops, and looks up to the sky. Drops of water force him to close his eyes, but he doesn't bother anymore. He's out there; letting the rain do what it does best. As the drops hit his face, he smiles for the first time in a while. And with the smile, come back sweet memories of how he'd once done the same thing as a little boy.

He had come to peace with himself, and when rain drops trickled down the neck, they washed down all worries with them... at least, for the moment.

ye dost bhi...

ये दोस्त भी अजीब होते है, देने पे आये तो जान दे दे...
लेने पे आये तो हसी तक चीन लेते है!
कहने पे आये तो दिल के तमाम राज़ बोल दे,
छुपाने पे आये तो ये भी न बताये कि आखिर खफा क्यों है!
नाराज़ होगये तो सांस तक ना लेने दे,
मनाने के लिए अपनी साँसों को भी वो वार दे!
इसी लिए कहते है, दोस्त ज़िन्दगी में नहीं मिलते,
ज़िन्दगी दोस्तों से मिलती है।

                  -Anon

What men want... and what they get!

When some people hear you describing stuff, they turn out with their own versions of it...
here's one that says about women... of all those types that strike, sometimes a chord, in the hearts of men...

kuch ladkiyan hawa ke jhonke se hoti hai,
bas gaalo ko choom ke guzar jaati hai.
Kuch aur ko wo jhonke yaad dilaati hai,
jinhe soch dil se ek muksaan nikalti hai.

aur kuch hai jo yaado me bas jaati hai,
firaq bhi jinhe hum se door nahi kar paati hai.
par jo sapno me aake neend cheen leti hai,
rishte se wo biwi kehlaati hai.

-Anon.

Last days and a lonely ride 5

Day 3 : The lost piece...

A "Paanch Samosa Pineapple Pastry"... after an exotic snack as that, the junta disperses in bits and pieces. For the two earlybirds that left without a taste of it, parcels are prepared, but end up dumped in a bin., courtesy, the shadow on a bicycle that frightens the delivery-girl. (Aparna, I never thought I'm so frightening...):

Day 4,5,6,7 : Adventure is out there!

A 0730Hrs departure plan gets me saddled up by 0650Hrs. A wait for breakfast company till 0830Hrs, Suri is finally there, and we have breakfast till 0925Hrs. The next 35 minutes are for the Three Musketeers. All of what was spoken shall remain unspoken, and a lot that had to be spoken remains unspoken. It's 1000Hrs., finally and an adieu for the moment.

A few minutes into the journey, the cellphone and watch are dumped deep within the backpack. "Dear world, I'm not a part of you until I'm back home, and I shall live the moments that shall come by at my own pace."

A few starting glitches, loose nuts, all fixed, the journey has begun. It's a whole new world out there. Ups, downs, sweaty brows... I'm getting exhausted faster than I thought I will... packs of re-hydration stuff, quick calories, they're becoming more essential. My first pit-stop is sooner than I thought.

Barely 20km into my journey and about two and a half hours of non-stop cycling, and I'm physically giving up... there's a tree near one school, and kids playing nearby. I stop for a while, where one of them, I make friends with. He gives me the most profound lesson of the journey. "Take more short breaks instead of few long breaks."

Next, it's a stream, and the sun's blaze suggests it's around 1300Hrs. A good time to spend in the cool waters. Another break, and the journey continues.

My greatest challenge shows itself up by 1600Hrs. Agumbe-ghat takes me over four hours with three long breaks to gain the 550-odd meters of altitude. The security at the checkpoint is fancied by my adventure and lets me pass, despite his hunch that a pack of glucose could be drugs... :D

Here on, I don't want to keep track of the journey either... just to live the moment.

The eighty four hours and six minutes of cycling that take me from the MIT campus in Manipal to my home in Bangalore... those few hours of my life teach me more than I could have ever imagined... a lot of them coming from enlightened minds I meet along my journey.

"Don't just love your family! Care for them. Don't just care for the 'Green' of the Earth, learn to love it."
"Money is the last thing needed for someone to be happy."
"Don't be irreplaceable. You will be stuck in the same place forever, like a tree."
Think simple... like the school kid. Greater challenges become trifles.
I'm willing to chase a dream. A lot of people can't sleep.
Be carefree about what people think.
*wants* should come only after *needs*, and *cans*.
...

Oh! This list could go on, all the way to death. "Lectures on philosophy", I'll title the book if I write any about it.

It's 2206Hrs on Saturday, when I unlock the doors and enter 'home sweet home'.
Wow! I've actually cycled all the way back home. It's a sense of amazement about what a little frustration and *mind over matter* can do together...

I'm unable to understand what emotions I'm going through. I'm not tired, or excited, or happy... or maybe I'm experiencing all of them together... maybe, it's just those three sleepless nights and I'm hallucinating... just again, maybe, the pack of glucose was indeed drugs... :P
I leave a message for those whom I'd promised I would. I've had a long shower and the last of my left-over chocolates... staple diet in all my journeys.

I think I should be off to bed... a good sleep is what I need... I'm lying on bare ground, recalling every moment of the past week as they unfurled and decide to put it up on my blog. I'll want this recorded... just for me, and not anyone else. But I guess the mind finally gave in to the body sooner than usual.

Last days and a lonely ride 4

Day 3 : ... a bicycle story and paanch Samosa

One final get-together since most of us had decided to pack our bags the next day. At about 6PM, an SMS drops in... "Come to Crumbs by 7:30". One chunk that had gone outing, another that had gone roaming, and me... so it turns out, that I'm the only one who's to go from campus. What had been an impulse, is time to show off. That I am going alone gives me reason to ride out on my brand-new bicycle.

7:30pm, and nobody is yet there at Crumbs. A wait of over twenty minutes finally bears fruit, and we're all gathered at the stairs. I murmur into the one standing beside me pointing at one car, and

"What the #$%^. Seriously?"
"Yeah. See for yourself." ...and I hand over the keys.

Unable to understand the reaction, everyone turns towards her...

"He's bought a new bicycle it seems..." a pause until everyone digested the news...
And then, "I'm riding it to Bangalore tomorrow."

Hitesh is the first to speak. "He's cool..."
"Paagal!"
"Hucch hididaiti? Illind benglurig cycle-daag hogti?"
"Tu bangalore jaane ke liye cycle khareeda?"
"Good luck with your adventure dude."
"Haan. Issi liye to Sunday ko tum logon ko baar baar call kar raha tha..."
"Hey, give me one ride no..."
"KC, be careful. Aparna doesn't know how to brake..."
"Are Aparna, tumhare pair neeche tak pahunchte nahi hai... be careful!"
...
...
People wanting to, take turns in riding, and then we go inside.

Some pastries ordered, a couple of sandwiches...
"Why don't we celebrate?"
"Okay... How about cutting a cake?"
So we decide it is pineapple pastry, but nobody is sure what to ice it with...

In the meanwhile, Irfan comes back asking for seconds... His order is for 5 samosas, and another muffin.
Orders billed at the counter...

"So what do you want for icing?"
"Abe, koi kuch to bolo..."
after a pause, when there are no suggestions, "Jo order diya, ussi ko daal de!"
"Theek hai. You can put 5 samosas on it."

All said and done, Crumbs wasn't going to fill our stomachs, and we decide to go elsewhere.
Scirocco comes up as a suggestion, and the choice. We go there, order some mocktails, which are a literal mockery of their names... (the food was okay, though!) about ten minutes to ten, two of them girls stand to leave for hostels, when we're still waiting for the cake we'd ordered. Finally, the *Paanch Samosa* arrives at ten past ten. This is got to be the most memorable cake for all those present on that day. After all, who would ice a cake with five Samosas?

We ask the couple (Bhautik and his wife, Dipali) to cut it on our behalf, and for the first time, we all tasted a pineapple pastry with 5 Samosas on it... Try it sometime... ;)

Last days and a lonely ride 3

Day 3 : Good-byes and...

It was most certain we wouldn't be meeting again... 'cos I'd decided so. (though 'Time' had something else in store). I'm wanting to say one last goodbye to my musketeers. They've meant the world to Monsieur d'Artagnan when he was away from home... and I'm grateful to them for all that they've been.

Though I get a very short time out of their busy day., those few minutes, as they say, "Time had no meaning." in my world. Ab Lincoln has apparently said "If your biggest weakness is your friends, you are the strongest person you know". I don't know how true the second part of his saying is, but I sure realize the weight of that first part. Yet again, those whom I open doors for, are bidding goodbye.

"What is this?""Just a something for you, and this one for you" ... "You're not supposed to open them now."
"Why?"
"Just so... Please, not now. You can open it after we leave."
"Are you sure?"
"More than sure."..."And that's for you... Does that compensate for the three Roche I owe you?"
"Ya, Ya..."
"By the way, I got something more for you... I'd promised you this one..."
"Yeh to iska ************ hai. Dekh ke hi pata chalta hai."
"Seriously?"
"Yup."
"SERIOUSLY?"
"Yup. You'll have to spend about *** rupees to get it back in good shape. I can help you with it if you want me to."
...
"want to join for breakfast?"
"Nope... got other plans... and I know you want to open 'em too..."
... and then we all leave the place.

(Every so often, I spend nights at the MIT ground... replaying every moment of that day as it unfolds...)

After what's been a wonderful adventure, Monsieur d'Artagnan is alone on his path now... 
And the musketeers...? Well, that will only be written "twenty years later"... ;)

Praful, Tübs, Buzz... just as much as I can say...
"Na saathi hai koi, na hamsafar hai koi...
Na hum kisi ke, na hamara hai koi.
Par aap ko yaad kar ke dil kehta hai...
hamara bhi is duniya mein ek pyaara dost hai koi."    -Anon

In the hope that Monsieur d'Artagnan will see his three Musketeers "Twenty Years Later"...,

Last days and a lonely ride 2

Day 2 : The Great Escape and a few quarters down

A lousy day has just gone by in a place that's slowly being devoid of its charisma. This place is wonderful when you've got friends, and students skirting around. But right now, exams finished and holidays dawned, everyone's bidding adieu to the place for the next few days. And it's just about time when it's time for all of mine to be off too... "Just one last get-together" we say, and decide to dine together.

A fair chunk sits in "Spicy n Ice" waiting for the latecomers, me being one. Just as I'm about to reach the place.,
Trrrrring Trrrrring... (my cellphone ringtone was the classic telephone ring then...)
"Hello"
"Dude, there's a change of plans... come to KMC ground, we'll decide things there."
"What the bleep! why this change of plan all of a sudden?"
"Stories when we meet."

"Okay" I say, and walk back half my way to catch-up with the rest. While the rest of the party gets back, the story goes:
"We were having some time-pass fun waiting for you people. Irfan was rocking on one of the chairs there... and he fell on his back." and they all burst out in a laugh. Only after a few minutes, when all the laughter subdued, is the reason revealed. His rocking had broken the chair's leg, and immediate evasive actions were taken to avoid a show-down. Given that an entire table of people evacuate without ordering for a thing... and without evoking suspicion from the manager., I'm sure he's cursed everyone of us for having broken his furniture and gotten away easy-peasy. I wish I were at the scene when it happened... All said and done, the owner was bluffed, one perfect escape effected, a few hundred bucks saved, and we're all back at the KMC grounds not knowing where we'll be having our dinner.

Even before the place is decided, is the host named... "KC, your treat today.". Raghu's proposition, and on public behest, we all head to Pancharatna. Over an hour and a half, it was probably one of those rare dinners where people had less to eat and more to drink, and even more to talk. Let the point be taken that most of us were full by the time we stopped ordering starters. ("What on earth did we eat then?", you may ask...) When it was time for the bill, which was worth it, Bhautik, I've honored your words (though I must accept that was the most expensive treat I ever hosted...). An extraordinary dinner and we disperse.

But since it's been begun, it has to be taken to the end. One mere pint of beer during dinner wasn't good enough. Hello to T-spirits, where  all of those of us who wanted to, had a couple more... and then, it was time to decide what next. T-spirits has some more good business, and it's Sam-n-Suri's. That's our "Adda" for the night. Our bar-tender for the night, Raghu mixes fruit pulp and drinks and coke like he's been doing it all his life. Every mix he prepares has the exact same flavor. Perfect proportions they ought to be... "Dude, you should've been a bartender at some point to do it so perfectly every time!" I say of him. By 2:30, the last of them are finally empty. Time to go to bed. Good Night!

Last days and a lonely ride 1

P.S: Quotes unquoted...

Day 1:  May 27th 2012.

MiB or MI? When Men-In-Black seemed like Mission Impossible.

When I thought I'll set right a li'l big mess with MIB-3, and make an exit from Manipal (and from among them...) for the time-being.

~0730 Hrs : A walk down to Udupi and from there, towards Malpe for no reason.

~1130 Hrs : Walk back from Malpe unable to enjoy myself. It was here that I'd decided. The li'l big mess ought to be set right. Phone rings...

'Hello!'

'Hi, free?'

'errmm, we're not in town right now... ad-hoc plans.' (and I learn that the plans are MIB-3...)

'Oh! fine. Enjoy.'

~1630 Hrs : Back to Udupi to blow up ten grands, and nobody knows why or what it was. The loneliness and the "good-bad" argument in my head have driven me insane. A moment's decision was all it was... maybe it was a thought of dying out of exhaustion on the way that made me do it...

~1730 Hrs : Still not all right, and my plans to leave early next morning are seeming to vanish into thin air. Phone rings again...

'Dude, what time do you think you'll be back?'

'Not sure., but surely not before 9.'

Damn! shouts my head, and another split moment decision... plans of leaving postponed by another day. And in the meanwhile, a few pending jobs *though unimportant, could be completed.

~2030, I get an SMS... 'Hey, won't have to stay here anymore and again.'

~2130 : 'Hey, just got down at TC. catch up after a few min for dinner..." and I message back saying "okay...'

finally, about an hour later, I just get enough time to meet up and say 'Congrats, and hope you had good fun. Thought I'll be leaving tomorrow morning. Your treat shall be pending. Hope to see ya again...'

'Yeah. How about treat at KC? Breakfast on me.'

'Maybe... okay.'

The conscious lie about leaving next day morning isn't leaving me comfortable. So I SMS again 'I'll be staying back the next day for some last minute work. Treat need not be at breakfast... take your time at waking up... need not wake up all so early to bid farewell...'

'Okies...' I get a reply, and that was the last one.

Day 2... next time...

Before I came to college, I wish I had known...

That I could change so much and barely realize it.

That you can love a lot of people in a lot of different ways.

That college kids throw chalk and airplanes too.

That if someone wears polyester he was bound to answer "why you're so dressed up?"

That almost every clock on campus shows a different time.

That if you were smart in high school--so what?(really!)

That one can know everything and fail a test.
That one can know nothing and ace a test.

That I could get used to almost anything I found.

That home is a great place to visit.

That education was meant to be outside of classes.

That friendship is more than getting drunk together.

That breakfast served until 9:30 every morning is gone by 9:20.

That Sunday is a figment of the world's imagination.

That when someone wants to 'borrow' something, they mean that they want to keep it forever.

That it's possible to be alone even when you are surrounded by friends.

That friends are what makes this place worthwhile!!

a never-ending wait...

I want to go back, stop it from happening,

the truth... it's past and nothing can be done.

first--sarcasm fills the air
striking remarks then follow.
small grins, dubious eyebrows,
oh--let the arguments begin!
time passes by...
only acquiring the habit we've begun.
though the longer the mockery is,
the harder it is to reveal each other's identity.
...ironically--my only desire is to show you me.
unfortunately, there's just too many sarcasm,
and barely little of the real us...
I asked if we could change it,
you said "yes--we can."
deciding that nature will take its place
we set aside our worries and proceed with life.

while in our minds, there is,

I feel, still a boundary keeping us apart.
will our friendship ever be like it once was?

...in my mind, every morning, noon and night,

I hope to be among you, once again...

I pray that we stay forever friends...

I wish we laugh together, like we once did.

I'll wait till the end riding on my hope,

for hope is a good thing and it never dies they say.

The story of two...

it was a story from once upon a time... (as narrated to me...)
In a green, romantic place, stood he near a cliff. She was beautifully robed in pristine white, and casually, walked towards him. He hadn't noticed her coming, but as she approached, his heartbeat rose in tempo. She was standing so close that he felt her in his breath. And then, she took his face in her hands, kissed the loveliest one any girl in romance would, said that this was the last that they would see of each other, and walked away into the dark...

thereafter... until the other day. This time, he was riding a bicycle along a crossroad of little significance. His princess who was sitting in the front, as soon as they approached the crossroad, got down to go home. They continued a few meters further when the soft touch of wet lips touched his cheek... the left cheek, to be precise... wondering if that was a caring one, a loving one or a romantic one, he woke up...

And now, I'm wondering how this story should be taken forward...

the three musketeers...

For years, my passion had been buried deep inside. Every morning, the only thing I wondered was how long further into the future... And then came that fine day, when the dream-chase actually began. Here I am, in a little coastal town, in an institution (one I'd always wanted to be a student of, in my childhood days...) that has all that I need to end that dream-chase and to start living it. But then, things don't stop at what's in stock at the academics alone. I come across a plethora of people, each with their own distinct attitude to life. Then, a story seems to repeat itself...

When in the time of King Louis XIII, one young fellow met three wonderful people. When Monsieur d'Artagnan reached Paris in chasing his dream, he met with three friends Arthos, Porthos, and Aramis, and became a part of their friendship. They became so close to each other, that they became inseparable in all their adventures. But as time would have it, one big one that none would ever want to forget; and they were all separated for a long long time.

I'm here, like d'Artagnan, in search of my dream. And I know I will be away from these three fellows I have met here after a short while, after all these wonderful experiences we're having together. But I'm so indulged in their friendship, that I've revealed (or so I think...) myself to them more than even to my own family. There are hardly a handful of people outside of my own blood that I've ever taken to be important; and now these musketeers, as I'd like to call them, have in no time managed to get into that 'elite list' of my heart... All that I perceive is left, is to cherish these times. Thanks Tübs, Praphool and Buzz, for whatever you are for me in 'this world', as long as you don't promise to be with me in the next one and the next... and the next... and... and... and...

To the God of iThings

"A for apple" was the first proper English that I learnt. Since then, the apple has in its many manifestations, taught me so much. But none has been as inspiring as the "White Apple" that first caught my eye in the early days of my "Job". A freebie at first, my first (and so far, only slice of the Apple) iPod packing that had the little "White apple bitten on one side" looked classy... and when I opened the box almost 2 years later, that's when the Apple really inspired me to know more about itself... and so began a journey of knowing these products, and the iBrain (iBrain as in an "Intelligent Brain") behind them... and you, all of a sudden you're iconic...

Dear Steve,

I've always admired you for your adamance and perfection... qualities I associate myself with. That's one reason you've become the blessed one. Every time I saw you come out with that turtle-neck Tee-Shirt for a new product release, (and I saw most of your PRs only in the last couple of couple of years...) I'd be transfixed at the spark in those eyes that have inspired me and a million alike. The way you sought perfection in all that was a "The Apple", the way you got the best out of people's ideas, the way you've imagined the future, the way you change perception of everything... there are a million reasons why you're so inspirational. 

There was a time when the iPhone was first released, and there were a lot of people and emails that called the iPhone iStone... every time I saw one such, my heart would ache, not because I deemed the iPhone perfect, but I could realize what it takes to come up with something like that... because by then, I'd already tasted the flavors of the iMac and the iPod, and knew how perfect it was with whatever it was... (and of course, you and your people have only made it better by the day...). I owe you for the wonderful team that you built for some of the finest animation movies I've seen in Toy Story, Finding Nemo, Wall-E and Up. They've often lightened up my days and gotten me out of my blues. Walt Disney Studios alone wouldn't have done it, or maybe they would have. But it's your brainchild, Pixar that has really made it happen for now. For they bring back my childhood; or rather bring out the child in me., that's one more reason why I admire Steve Jobs...

While you ensured anyone who owns an iMac makes a style statement, and puts himself into a different calibre, you also managed to capture the cheaper market with the iPods... why, you even managed to have an iPhone at the intermediate budget class. I will never be able to understand the Management Guru that was running in your brains, or your office... but all I know is that you had your own niche in every class of the economy... and my hats off to that. I may not buy all or even a few of Apple's products, but then, I don't need to. 'cos I don't love the Apple brand, I respect it. Now that you're off to the iHeaven Steve, I don't know if the iBrands will continue their wonderful run like they've been doing so far, or better or worse. But for all that I know, ever since I got to understand gadgets and technology, the Apple has inspired me in so many ways, and the God of iThings will continue to live in my heart.

May your soul not simply rest in peace, but continue to inspire a million more to make this world a better place to live in.

And do write back and let us earthlings know how your iHeaven looks like :)

The pale blue dot

On it, everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of...... every human being who was, lived out their lives. The every bit of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every King and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, every hopeful child. inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every superstar, every supreme leader, every saint and sinner in the history of our species... lived there. On a mode of dust, suspended in a sunbeam.

..........

To us, it underscores our responsibility to preserve and cherish the "Pale Blue Dot".

-Carl Sagan.

Hold Fast...

Nah! I didn't mean to hold a fast as in some ceremonial day with nothin to eat... I meant to hang on... hang on to what was once a little dream. The dream of a little school boy going to a place none of his classmates even cared to look up in the 'Atlas' for his age. And then there is, all of a sudden, this urge to catch it. It comes as a reason for a change... and then it becomes 'The reason'!

Today, there's a fire in the belly that has subdued some values (though they were alwayz questionable at the Receiving end too...). Only feel bad for whoever believed things will take the right stream there-on. Never was this eagerness to hold fast to dreams been so until it came as the 'A reason'. Atleast it's made its presence felt. It's finally broken the shackles and comeout of that corner where it was 'burried' for the sake of others, asking for it's righteous place in life.

Ain't it amazing??? that they spring up at the least expected times?  Reminds me of a beautiful poem by Louise Driscoll I'd by-hearted in school, though until today I'd forgotten almost all of it except for the first line. Here's a few more...

Hold fast your dreams!
Within your heart
Keep one still, secret spot
Where dreams may go,
And, sheltered so,
May thrive and grow
Where doubt and fear are not.
O keep a place apart,
Within your heart,
For little dreams to go!