finding solace...

How does it feel when you are "made to feel lonely"? when your soulmate has not wanted to talk to you? when you feel that the world doesn't really care whether you are, or not...? The last few days have been giving me something of such a hysteria.

A few actions have hurt someone so much, that this person's in no good mood even to spare a few minutes or a few words! wouldn't even matter if i'm being blasted for my actions. But is this "Damn you! I told you but you still did it." attitude needed? Agreed that it was not a very appropriate gesture, I shouldn't have done it., but justified it was! too... Is it so difficult even to talk back in spite of acceptance? Such respite for it really absolutely necessary? I am not to hold myself back if such a relationship's going into turmoil... And then, it's this person who's really showed me what i can.

Hallo (I still don't give your name out.) !!! I know u'll read this sometime someday... and soon enough. Write back as you used to... a while ago... talk as you talked... ever so cheerfully. It comforts me to relive those words on blue days. And yes, it's mostly for whatever came of your pieces, that this blog's still rolling!

Oh btw, remember i'd once told you gotcha meet someone else...? seems like this someone too has become very busy in an all 'new world' with some 'more important' people. And there's none that i'm really able to talk to. I've told either of you three (yes, the third one's busy with the bunch of flowers there...) all that I ever wanted to share... but now so much seems to be changing... and for some reason, I don't dare to ask of anything more :( I don't know how else to find my solace...

It's yours for you for me...

If you ever see yourself disturbed,

if ever your ways you see are perturbed,

It's not in the mirror to look at your face

but to go to the one who can be a solace.

changing times

It was a beautiful sight. not sure when the next such occasion will be. At least, India's got none this year :( unfortunately after this. Jan 15th 2010. An annular Solar Eclipse grazes the sub-continent. the Southern tip sees some spectacular views of it. Bangalore too, inspite of being unfortunate enough not to have a total solar eclipse for about 670 years since the one on 13th Dec 1498, had it's share at close to 85% totality. And me, I had my share of bangalore's share too.

As the day begun in office, there was some sort of a hysterical aura all around. 'Oh, it's an eclipse, and we're not supposed to watch it. We're not supposed to eat during the eclipse...' and so on... But like everywhere else, there were a couple of 'Black Sheep of the Flock', and this flock had me too. My very craze of watching eclipses urged me to break open an unused, scrapped floppy and go out. And when the other 'Black Sheep' got to know this, they came out too, to watch the most beautiful celestial phenomenon this city is gonna experience for a while... And then, some of the 'White Sheep' started turning black after hearing from the descriptions from others... But a couple of them said 'I should not! It's an order that I should not watch the eclipse. It's an omen!'. As always, the only expression I could give was out of my mouth! When will people learn that seeing an eclipse the "Right way" is in no way an omen? It's time to change. And change is Inevitable... for it always comes when someone is perpared to "Be the Change". it is no supernatural element of life to happen all by itself.

As for the question posed to me for skipping lunch, I don't mind doing it for the sake of respecting someone's faith however rational i am... and btw, it does also have it's own science, and rationale to skip lunch esp. in office (yes, i'm serious about it!)... ;) btw, here's something if you've missed it...

another year comes by...

Yeah... another year has gone by. So many things that i would remember from it, and so many that i will want to forget. And then, comes another year, strictly speaking of the Gregorian calendar... ;)

There was this movie at the Theater after aages... enchanted for some reason... maybe for i see myself somewhere there...

my future seems so uncertain to myself at this point of time. There's one opportunity, but i'm not sure if i'll grab it.

The Creator is yearning, but the risk is mammoth.

a few people, who apparently 'ignore' citing importance to some(thing/one, i dunno) else. Don't complain... 'cos everyone's got their own priorities.

lazing around since the begin of the year, and the toy hasn't snapped even a dozen this year yet.
Found the Dragon Warrior again. Seems like everytime i miss someone, this movie happens to be telecast on one of the innumerous channels. I dunno what it links to...
still planning to get lost. never yet making up mind.
grossly paid but so many of them were exclusively for Her... all the (H)EV's at Delhi.
The Godfather was here. An interesting story, where the plot revolves around someone least expected. for a change, it's Different. it's marvelous.
Oh yes, and the eclipse that showed up, and the one coming soon too have been good to start with...
and the first big folly... not having respected a dear friend will hopefully be 'Forgiven and forgot'.
hope this year enchants me with better things than all those so far...