For you, dear you...

Please don't tell me not to cry,

Please don't say there was a reason, why.

You don't know what I feel of how much I hurt,

Wet spots of tear drip onto the collars of my shirt.

You may say I should go on with life,  forget and be strong,

But deep down i know, and I don't want to go on alone.

I don't expect you to understand why,

for no apparent reason I break down and cry.

my life has changed for all that you see,

and that is why I'm not like the same old me.

What happened; has changed my life forever,

I cannot be the same, not today, not tomorrow, never.

The best you can do for me is be there as a friend,

for my soul hurts bad, and it may never mend.

--Anon

I choose...

So said the Other's way, for the chosen one, and why be the chosen one...

I choose to speak to you in silence,
in my silence, i fear no rejection.

I choose to be with you in my loneliness,
it's only there, that none owns you but I.

I choose to love you from the distance,
the distance shields us both from pain.

I choose to imprison you in my thoughts,
there alone, do I own all freedom.

I choose to kiss you on the wind,
the wind is gentler than my lips.

I choose to touch you through the sun,
the light of dawn is softer than my touch.

I choose to soothe you through the moon,
the caress of moonlight is pleasing much.

I choose to hold you in my dreams,
for my dreams are where I have no end,
for only there can I always be with you.

-Anon

a never-ending wait...

I want to go back, stop it from happening,

the truth... it's past and nothing can be done.

first--sarcasm fills the air
striking remarks then follow.
small grins, dubious eyebrows,
oh--let the arguments begin!
time passes by...
only acquiring the habit we've begun.
though the longer the mockery is,
the harder it is to reveal each other's identity.
...ironically--my only desire is to show you me.
unfortunately, there's just too many sarcasm,
and barely little of the real us...
I asked if we could change it,
you said "yes--we can."
deciding that nature will take its place
we set aside our worries and proceed with life.

while in our minds, there is,

I feel, still a boundary keeping us apart.
will our friendship ever be like it once was?

...in my mind, every morning, noon and night,

I hope to be among you, once again...

I pray that we stay forever friends...

I wish we laugh together, like we once did.

I'll wait till the end riding on my hope,

for hope is a good thing and it never dies they say.

Is it In(dian)herent?

It was at the tip of the Indian Peninsula. I was at this place they call Kanyakumari, where I landed during an undestined trip. And then, there were these two other tourist guyz, with an English daily in their hand, and seeming so overwhelmed about something. I was busy looking at this Sadhu who was writing what people call destiny;) through my camera lens...

when I heard the reason. One of them spoke out that an Indian had won a Nobel Prize. I thought it was finally time to kiss at the feet of my motherland. But the fact was a little hard to digest for me.

"In all the 109 years since its institution, only one "Indian", Sir Chandrashekar Venkata Raman, has been worthy enough to receive it. Now, all of a sudden, another Indian!?! Wait. Let me look into this in more detail." So, I got hold of the newspaper from these guys. And when I saw the title reading Dr. Ramakrishnan Venkataraman (that's another Venkataraman.) indeed gave me an Indianized feeling. But it also made it all clear. "Indian born scientist wins Chemistry Nobel". Okay. That's it... another Prof Khorana in the list...

Well... not to complain of the "Indian Born" who won the prestigious reward for their intellect. But why do we take anything that is "Manufactured In India, Made elsewhere" as "Indian"? Are we unable to realize the fact that the very people that we call "Indians" have already given it up long ago? I certainly agree to the reason that this country is still not able to provide the best of facilities for research, for all possible reasons. But as long as such Intellectuals do not ask for, how is it that they expect things to fall into place? And unless they decide firm on staying back, how is it that they would ask for?

Coming back to the Indian Layman's "Manufactured in India..." problem... Is it that we are still not able to understand, that the prestige of winning has still not come to our country? What is the reason for the rejoicing some other country's success? We want every child in this country of a billion and more, only to be God damn Software Engineers! or a few rich or talented ones, Doctors. Being anything else is a taboo here, unless it's absolutely difficult to score high in the Pre-Uni courses. Unfortunately, even the number of people in international committees on Pure sciences representing India has been less than a handful. When is it that we will stop enforcing professions, and let people decide their own way of life, like that Sadhu... who's apparently doing it. When is it, that we will celebrate another Nobel laureate from our own country??? When will this ambition of Stockholm be fulfilled?

Oh and yes, speaking of ambitious dreams, I did complete a part of my other ambition... happened to visit Kanyakumari, and southern Kerala over a week... well... almost. Do visit...

Why somethings...

Why is it...

• that, whenever I decide upon something new, something new comes up with the old, and nails me to wherever I am?
• that, I've to give up somethings I've yearned for, for somethings, I've never cared for?
• that, whenever I say something, it is more often "miss"interpreted than not?
• that, most people still do not understand somethings with me?
• that, somethings strike people so hard, even if I'm as meek as I can be?
• that, somethings strike me so hard, even if they are not really at me?
• that, people take it for a laugh, when I say I'm "serious" about something?
• that, I still am not able to start off with somethings, though I've dreamt of them for long?
• that, I care for somethings, that mean so less to me?
• that, I realize it is just about time to see "someone" after long, but find out that somethings only get to be longer?
• that, i publish something here, inspite of being aware that there's none that really cares whether I publish or not?
• that, I pose so many questions, inspite of knowing somethings are useless?
• that, I publish something, which will give neither me joy, nor (if, then) to those who read this?

pre---post...

Did you start reading it only because you thought I'm writing something that happened before something happened, and then, about something that happened after that something happened?

If that's the case, then "April fool" in advance... :P

This is just a preparatory for a post i wanted to post, but would not... for there are some things, that better be unsaid... however, if it makes you any curious about what it all is about., I sure can post that post I wanted to post of the "something" that happened. Oh, n yes, something did happen... and whatever happened, I don't regret., for whatever happened is past and gone, though the post happening of whatever happened, does seem to be "not ok" to those who were there when the happening happened...

Confused?

Forget it... now, that's the way I am... and I'd'nt change just 'cos someone's not ok wid whatever happened thoh!!!

Where lies the problem???

I only wanted my city to be as beautiful as it was when the British made it their "Pensioners' Paradise". And I'm bound to do it. However, last weekend was nightmarish for me. I was in the M.G.Road of Malleshwaram for some purchasing. (not the usual shopping. I knew what I needed ;).) The shopkeeper in one of those shops I entered was hell-bent upon distributing plastic bags with an ad like most others, for his shop printed upon it. It was an annoying sight to me. Observing that he was a "Not too old" guy, and would understand the concerns of plastix, I approached him. Just suggested, "Why don't you charge a rupee or two for each plastic bag? It helps reduce plastic garbage". His response shocked me for a while. He said "I don't care how people use/reuse the plastic bags I'm distributing, as long as my business is done". Well, he's thought for his business, and rightly enough. But has he ever thought of his children and the future generations that would live on, in and with plastics?? I tried my best to make him realize this, but he was worried more of his business.
Is it as difficult to touch people's thoughts? It wasn't, atleast for me. Until then.!!!

Miss U

yes... "Miss"ing you a lot today. :(

What's d problem?

We know that things are not going the way we expect them to. But still, what binds us, that we are able to do nothing about them? Are rules so supreme or duty so important, that they are above someone's life? Or is it mere reluctance from everyone to whatever seems to go on?